CN Confidential: storms in a teacup, and elsewhere

The Rolling Stones pleaded 'Give me shelter'... Suzuki's laudable thinking aside, give us a break from these summer storms

AAA gets Dark 'n' Stormy
If you plan to make a logical leap, you should always watch the landing on the other side.

A press release recently issued by the Australian Automobile Association (AAA) took a poke at supermarket chain Woolworths for linking fuel discounts to alcohol purchases. According to the Association, Woolies will knock 30 cents off the price of each litre of fuel purchased at its service stations, provided the buyer has picked up two cases of beer or pre-mixed spirits. The offer was advertised in a Woolworths catalogue presumably lodged in the letterbox of AAA Executive Director, Andrew McKellar.

"This is a step too far," McKellar was quoted saying in the press release.

"It's troubling that anyone would link drinking and driving, particularly so close to the holiday season when we see so much tragedy on our roads. This discount is well above what is offered on normal grocery items and I would urge Woolworths to start taking a shared responsibility on road safety."

It's not good form to associate alcohol with driving in a retail incentive; that much is true. But will the campaign lead to a rush of the blue-singlet brigade with two slabs under one arm filling the tank of the family sedan? Probably not. And since the substance of the press release was reproduced in at least one major media outlet -- and now another -- Woolworths couldn't have hoped for better publicity either. Well played by the AAA...

But what it prompts us to wonder is just how effective is such a retail incentive anyway? Allow us to stereotype for a moment...

Who buys the grog in families? And for whom?
Who's most likely to keep shopping receipts as proof of purchase?
Who's more likely to be able to find a specific receipt when it's needed?
Who fills the fuel tank of the family car?
Who will have the presence of mind to take the receipt with them to the service station?

Furthermore...

Do childless couples peruse supermarket catalogues, or are they still enjoying life?
What about singles?
Can they rouse themselves out of bed before a parent throws the junk mail in the bin?
Does anyone young and single care about saving money on fuel anyway?
Wouldn't they rather save the money on alcohol purchases?

And as a final observation, nobody drinks while they're actually driving anymore... Lest the grog spill in one's lap.


Shelter with a Big S
Suzuki Queensland's General Manager, Adam Le Fevre, didn't just come down in the last shower, or even the one before that. Obviously an ideas man, Le Fevre has offered the Brisbane City State Emergency Service (SES) the use of obsolete billboard skins -- vinyl advertising banners -- as emergency tarpaulins. The idea came to him after witnessing a number of homes with storm-damaged roofs.

"Ironically,  I then passed a billboard advertising the Suzuki Kizashi and it was in perfect condition -- that drew my attention to the stockpile of out-dated billboard skins we had been holding," Le Fevre said.

"My staff contacted the Emergency Management Queensland, as well as the Brisbane City SES Group Local Controller, who inspected the skins. Their response was that they would welcome the opportunity to use the skins as an aid for roof damage training.

"Most of the skins have an outside pocket with a strong rope drawstring inside which is used to attach the skins to the billboard frames. If the skins will stay on a billboard, we saw no reason why they wouldn't stay on a roof to act as a tarp.

"We're not asking that the advertising side be displayed -- we're just delighted that we are able to recycle them in a new and beneficial way."

"Our volunteers will be able to put the donated Suzuki billboard skins to good use this storm season," said Brisbane City SES Group Local Controller Lowry Boyd. "At six metres long and four metres wide, they are an ideal size and weight for use in roof damage training."


Big wind hits Detroit
Proponents of the US auto market were positive before the opening of this year's North American Auto Show. Industry analysts predicted a profit for the second year; the recovery particularly good news after the 30-year low set in 2009.

But it was the Germans who had the most to say during the show, and some of it wasn't so nice. It began with BMW's North American chief Ludwig Willisch commenting that Cadillac's new ATS and Lincoln MKZ models were not worthy of comparison to the German offerings.

"We don't produce sofas on wheels -- and we don't mass-market vehicles and rebadge them as premium," he hissed.

Ford marketing exec Jim Farley's riposte referred to the Germans as "big-box retailers... efficient but soulless."

Ford then turned on Toyota and Honda upon the release of its Fusion midsizer.

The Japanese brands were lined up in a looped video at the Ford stand starring CEO Alan Mulally declaring Toyota and Honda had "plummeted along with the rest of the industry" but "what you might not realise is that Camry and Accord never recovered". The ex-Boeing man then threw salt on wounds with: "they [Toyota and Honda] saw further sales and share losses more than the 2011 earthquake and tsunami".

To which Honda replied... "Many of our competitors were enjoying the race with Honda running at half-throttle," the brand's North America boss John Mendel said at the introduction of the ninth generation Accord model at Detroit.

"They temporarily picked up a lap or two while we were in the pits... We're here to serve notice that Honda is again firing on all cylinders. We're back to full power."

The locals even turned on each other. On Ford affiliate Lincoln's future, the CEO for General Motors Dan Akerson said: "You might as well sprinkle holy water. It's over."

Some were more tactful in their responses, however. Ex-Holden chief Mark Reuss admitted the Cadi ATS needed to earn respect, and was more considerate than the likes of Mulally towards the Japanese manufacturers' efforts.

"No underestimation of anybody that comes back from natural disasters," he said.

"They'll all be back in force... You can see it at the show."

Chrysler CEO Sergio Marchionne perhaps had the wisest words in the end: "Stay humble and keep your head down... When you get awards you should lie down and wait until the feeling passes, because there is absolutely no upside after your award... You can only lose."


Weather brought to you by...
Many Australians are enjoying fine weather this time of the year but on the other side of the world Huey hasn't been so mild. Or not mild enough to involve Mother Nature in a publicity stunt...

For reasons still unknown, it's possible to 'sponsor' a weather front in the USA and Germany, for around $350. High, low, hot, cold... Whatever your fancy. So the cool kids at MINI decided to match meteorology with marketing, and chose a particularly active European weather system to name 'Cooper'.

Those interested could even "follow Cooper's beautiful weather" online.

Except the skies weren't so blue and the weather definitely not beautiful. Instead, the freezing temperatures and conditions brought by Cooper's activity killed more than 70 people and hospitalised around 500.

According to The Independent newspaper in the UK, death tolls were highest in Poland and the Ukraine, and "the mounting fatalities lent a sinister aspect to Germany's practice of allowing companies to sponsor high and low pressure weather systems".

According to The Independent, BMW said that it regretted that people had died as a result of Cooper.

"Of course we are sorry. It was not intentional... You cannot tell in advance what a weather system will do," said a company spokeswoman.

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